Get all 27 carter c releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of pet sounds, old fabric, revisited, northern songs, pdx!!!! (acoustic) EP, scary words, pdx!!!!, the things i love and why i love them, i think of children, i think of you in trouble, and 19 more.
1. |
do not disturb
01:22
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i will take trains every single weekend
i will miss a whole semester of school
i will spend 7 days in complete silence
i’ve never lived in such chaos
i will give up, fail, find a home, and start again
and ava and augustin will wait for us at northgate
or they’ll take the 512.
every word i wrote,
every thought i’ve had,
has poured from the constant rain flowing throughout this beautiful city
as well as its hellish counterpart
and i will hide in the bathroom and sharpen pencils
and i thought i would die here
when all’s said and done
there are no more words left to speak
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2. |
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you said you had dreamed
of a day where you’d kill yourself
and, you said when i left
your body fell to the floor
it’s my fault, i hate that you’re gone
your final words were about how unloveable you thought you were
and at the end of the day i will lay your body in a pit full of stars
i will crawl inside too but i will never feel you again
every single weekday, they sit in the 119 in 3 pairs of fishnets, a skirt, and whatever top fits them best that day. they open their phone to hundreds of unread messages, ignoring them all and tweeting the latest competitive melee news. this isn’t going to change. they’re out of breath but still here.
sleep well. goodnight
i’ll be here
sleep well. goodnight
i’ll be here. again
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3. |
light rail
03:28
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light rail station 1 line
take me to where i've never been
across a world
colonized by your friends
and your loved ones
on sundays you lie at the beach
melting into seattle
oh night time please fall apon us
while we’re laying on the grass
all of your friends still are inside of vera
and yet this water fountain pours
i don’t where where i need to go
anywhere but home
as if home wasn’t a train ride away
and everything i sing
i mumble before i find the words
and only ava knows
how to comfort you
oh night time please fall apon us
while we’re laying on the grass
all of your friends still are inside of vera
and yet this water fountain pours
i wish that i was nothing
i wish that i was yours
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4. |
boop! <3
01:12
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oh my sweetest boy, are you sitting there tonight
at the edge of my bed, can i hold you so tight
staring through my wistful eyes
setlists written on my wall
kissing them for good luck
i hug my boy and try to sleep
oh my sweetest boy, i can’t sleep without you
i close my eyes and i feel you so close
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5. |
don't think abt it
02:03
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you see, you don’t get it
i feel like i’m nothing at all
if i could figure it out
maybe i could feel better
but i don't know what i am
i don’t feel
i don’t feel good at all
i’d stab myself with the back of your hammer
cut myself ripping my hair out
and i won’t be
what i want you to think i am
i look too boyish and my voice is too low
drowning myself in my shower at 9am
don’t think about it it’s not important
so i’ll never know what i am
i think i’d die
end my life to be understood
at least then i won’t have to worry about whether or not i can feel like a person
by a tree
covered in blood and the leaves
my hands are gone and i’m stabbed to death
but at least then i’m not a man, i guess
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6. |
transfer song
03:15
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miss a train, board a train, watch someone die
never home, in my dorm, i’d rather be be up north
i’m so scared to be alone, and i have no friends
and i wanna kill myself because of my meds (i hate myself)
i haven’t gone to class in weeks and i spend all my money on flixbus tickets
i want to transfer schools
i take the train every other day, i’m so fucking tired and i never ever wanna wake up
(...so what's my routine?)
shave my chest every day, plus my arms and legs
try to not skip a meal but i’ll forget again
missing friends who treated me like shit
i feel like millie would call my life a bit (in the most recent yard podcast episode)
seattle u, uw, spu, puget sound uw bothell, northwest u, bellevue college, digipen, edmonds community, green river, highline, north seattle, cascadia, antioch, lake washington, cornish college of the arts, olympic college, renton tech, uw tacoma (ew), seattle film institute, batemans tech, bastyr u, everett community, city university, which one will i chose-
i feel trapped inside portland’s finest suicide goldmine
i’m failing everybody, even me
i can’t get out of bed, in a hellscape made in my image
and i guess, in river’s too
i haven’t gone to class in weeks and i spend all my money on flixbus tickets
i want to transfer schools
i take the train every other day, i’m so fucking tired and i never ever wanna wake up
i feel trapped inside portland’s finest suicide goldmine
i’m failing everybody, even me
i can’t get out of bed, in a hellscape made in my image
and i guess, i’m giving up today
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7. |
sorry song
02:37
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sorry i’m doing so bad
and you can't bare to help yourself
sorry i’m not me right now
it’s all too much, i’m crumbling
is this really love
i feel like dead weight
and every time you look at me
all i see is worry
sorry i sat you down
and tried to end everything
in front, of the fountain
i wish i never said i was bad for you
and that you should leave
is this really love
i feel like dead weight
and every time you look at me
all i see is worry
i love you.
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8. |
skype song
03:03
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i fell from the sky, bleeding
at the thighs and wrists
all for your pleasure,
but are you happy now
i know it’s been a year or four,
but don’t call me when you’re bored
i used to know your name
i used to dread your face
but you’re just pictures now, i can turn you away
i can turn you away
you make new accounts just to stalk me,
but every time you do i’ll block you
don’t call, don’t call me
you used to think you were my friend but you’re not, you’re just an asshole
you used to think you were my love but you’re not, you’re just evil
you can play pretend, dress up like a doll
but i won’t fall for it anymore
in those late night calls, where we talked as kids
and you forced me into your hand
and i ruined myself
something shattered, broken, and bleeding again
i used to cry at night from your torture
but now i breathe in a future without you
i will turn you away
you make new accounts just to stalk me,
but every time you do i’ll block you
don’t call, don’t call me
don’t call, don’t call me
you used to think you were my friend but you’re not, you’re just an asshole
you used to think you were my love but you’re not, you’re just evil
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9. |
lingual wire
02:22
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take a shower
washing our hair
genderless
together as one
i once thought
i would die here
melting our
bodies into one
trade all our clothes
keep your wires
in the back of your mouth
hold me down
make me be
your bunny tonight
and hold me tight
when i’m falling asleep
OUR LOVE, CANNOT BE A FLEETING
OUR LOVE, CANNOT BE A PASSING IN TIME
AS LONG AS YOU’RE BY MY SIDE, IT FEELS LIKE EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY
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10. |
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i’ll wake up next to you
and when i sleep, i’m holding you
you held me so tight
i’d never felt alone
i'll never have to go
i’ll always be with you
when i’m asleep
i'll see you in my dreams
i've finally felt so close
after 31 days of feeling totally alone
when you’re far, i still feel your heart
i love you
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